POSTCARDS FROM THE BEAUTIES part 1. The Dawning of 'The Beauties'

The Rise and Subsequent Demise (and the subsequent re-rise) of some of the greatest foot modeling talent ever to be seen on this god forsaken earth.

I realized something out of nowhere.
‘My feet really are quite beautiful,’ I said looking down at them with magic mushroom residue/particles flying around the synapses in my already dilapidated brain.
My three Australian compatriots looked up at me to try and determine whether I was in fact being serious, and as they saw my emotional involvement in the statement, they looked down to my feet to see if there was any truth in it.

As far as I was concerned, the slight tan my feet had, combined with the slight dusting of dirt from walking around the park barefoot, created a sheen that made them look ruggedly handsome, summery, and in a nutshell: ‘foot-modelly’.



Dord laughed as the reality hit her. She stared at them shocked with her hand to her mouth, unsure if it was the mushrooms playing a cruel trick and said:
‘They actually are… I mean, they actually are quite beautiful,’ she looked around at the others and laughed again with as much shock as we were all feeling at the realization.
‘I’m not gonna lie…They are pretty good,’ agreed Eli nodding his head.
‘Matt?’ I asked to my other friend.
‘Yeah…pretty good I reckon.’
It took another few minutes of staring at them from different angles, in different lights, and even taking photos to confirm.
I received a fourth and fifth opinion from my ex-flatmate Heather and her same sex life partner Vero, who had arrived to the park in the meantime.

While they were unconvinced and preceded to question the potential of my feet, I didn’t let it ‘harsh my mellow’ and thought to myself, ‘What the hell would they know about foot modeling’.

‘I’m calling them ‘The Beauties’’ I said.
Silence.
‘Ahh, You can’t name your feet The Beauties, especially when they look like that,’ said Heather.
‘Ahhhh, yes I can, because I just did,’
To affirm it, I spun around with cat like reflexes, rolled onto my back and slowly lifted my legs towards the sky and held ‘The Beauties’ in front of a narrow sunbeam that was shining through the glade we were sitting in.
As the light of the new morning shone upon them to reveal their beauty, it was as if the earth stood still for a second.
I could almost feel everyone gasp at how beautiful the moment was, and it felt like one of the most important events in my life so far, and even slightly like the turning point in a Harry Potter film.

It was powerful like lightning, and magnificent like a rainbow. It was the dawning of… ‘The Beauties’.




‘I think ‘The Beauties’ is pretty good’ said Eli.
‘Yeah, I think it’s good,’ agreed Matt.
Dord just laughed uncontrollably, nodding her head in agreement.

‘This is just like how you give yourself these ridiculous nicknames every couple of months. You should not be able to give yourself a nickname, and you should not be able to name your feet ‘The Beauties’ said Heather.
‘Ah, Heather did you not just see that beam of light reflecting off ‘The Beauties’ making it feel like we just shared one of the most special moments in history, if not, ever? It was a sign’ I said.
I was beginning to see ‘The Red Mist’ in regard to Heather’s lack of enthusiasm about the potential of ‘The Beauties’. It reminded of when we lived together when she would not admit that outer space was better than anything ever and also that Carl Sagan was the greatest scientist ever.

‘Hey, wait a second’ said Matt ‘what nicknames have you given yourself?’
‘The Red Mist’ subsided briefly:
‘I would say the more memorable ones are probably
a) Maniac
b) The Vigilante or The Vidge
c) Reubo-cop
d) The Baron
e) Boulders
f) Omelette
And also my name for when I am practicing magic: The Great Maniac Holstfield Wonders,’
‘Those are good,’ said Eli.
‘Yeah they are good,’ agreed Matt.
‘What about ‘The Healer’ or ‘Hannibal Lector’?’ said Heather.
‘Sam actually named me those, however I do think they both have potential,’ I replied distracted, as I was too busy looking down in awe at ‘The Beauties’.
‘Fantastic, they are just fantastic,’ I thought to myself.

My brain was going at 100 mph (which is ironic seeing I had grown up with the metric system). I knew ‘The Beauties’ needed to be doing something better than hanging around in a park connected to someone tripping on magic mushrooms.
The world needed to see them. Immediately. (STAT).
My brain kept ticking…

I had an idea, nay, a concept. I imagined a foot modeling campaign that traversed the globe with no rules or boundaries, an epic voyage in which to photograph ‘The Beauties’ in some of the most visually astounding spots on God’s green earth. The Eiffel Tower, The Colloseum, the 8 Wonders of the World, the Taj Mahal. The possibilities were endless, and the adventure would be a way to rediscover life itself for me, my faithful ally and friend Kenny Powers and of course… ‘The Beauties’.
I would call it ‘Postcards from…‘The Beauties’’, and IMHO (in my humble opinion) it would reshape the world of foot modeling, forever.

I would write to various corporations for sponsorship, to fund this Odyssey, and my first thought was to approach an airline which had the capability to fly us around and make sure ‘The Beauties’ made it to every photo shoot.
I knew the concept was flawless and also thought that at the end of it all I could take the best 12 ‘Postcards’ and make a calender entitled ‘Postcards From ‘The Beauties’… The Calender’

My initial thought would be to ask my friend Peter Magnum aka Tom Petty to accompany me as the photographer as he had
a) an eye for detail
b) a lust for life
c) a set of legs on him that we referred to as ‘The Mountain Blasters’. While they were extremely skinny, they had an unbridled power second to none, and I knew that some form of ‘Mountain Blasters’ photo series could work as an offshoot on ‘The Beauties’ franchise.








Things were looking up for The Great Maniac Holstfield Wonders and Kenny Powers The Great. (and the Mountain Blasters).

As a side note, here is a picture of The Mountain Blasters in full effect.



My train of thought was interrupted by Eli.
‘Hey, where the hell is Kenny Powers?’ he said.
‘He will be rooting around for truffles or down at the animal enclosure looking at the yak. Don’t worry about it.’ I told him.
Kenny Powers was big enough and ugly enough to look after his own affairs, and I had bigger fish to fry at this point anyway.

PLEASE SEE BELOW FOR AN INSIGHT INTO THE WORLD OF 'POSTCARDS FROM... 'THE BEAUTIES''
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Berlin 06/11 'The Beauties' overlooking their hometown with a renewed vigour knowing that the summer is on it's way.


'Springtime Forest' by ... 'The Beauties'...
The Beauties love nothing more than to be at one with nature. Here they are caught on a brief respite hiking in the forests of Northern Germany. As comfortable in the woods as they are on the catwalks of Paris and New York, 'The Beauties' show their diversity and continue to prove why they are the best feet in the business.


'Radar Base In The Afternoon' by ... 'The Beauties'.


'Portugese Paradise' by... 'The Beauties'
The tanning never stops for 'The Beauties' when summer rolls through. Here we see them overlooking the coast of Lagos, Portugal. Fitted with their new accessory: a locally made Slingshot, summer sun and of course... FUN! 'The Beauties' made a real mark on Portugal.


'Nightcap' by... 'The Beauties'
After a long day of foot modeling, you are most likely to find 'The Beauties' with their feet up, enjoying after work drinks by themselves, friends, or even with a 'significant other'. Sophisticated as ever, 'The Beauties' like to make sure they are rewarded with the right kind of tipple, in this case.. Jamesons.