my dream about the helicopter with machine guns on the blades. BEWARE: this is a pretty cool invention

The next day was a sunday and it felt like I had awoken from the most amazing slumber of my life. It was the first time I had been to bed before eleven in about two years and I slept through till 11 the following morning. There were clean sheets, puffy pillows and enough room to spreadeagle across the bed without that stinking pig Kenny Powers trying to take up half the room for once. I had remembered my dream, and it was the first thing I thought of when I woke up. I began to regale it as I stared out the window looking at the clothesline.


In the dream (which may possibly have been a prophecy as it was quite vivid) Kenny Powers and I were in the midst of the ultimate world war to end world wars, in the thick of battle and rapidly losing ground and human beings beside us in the dirt. The enemy was being lead by a dark emperor who held the key to the winning or losing of the war. Rumours had circulated amongst the rebels (us and others) that the only way the war could be won was if the emperor was destroyed. Some people said the only way to kill him would be by having his head cut off, but we put that down to Chinese Whispers and thought that any normal death would suffice.
The rebel leader and his closest advisors were lacking ideas as to how to get close enough to the emperor to destroy him, and Kenny Powers and I swallowed our pride and approached the war council with an idea.
'Hello Mike, I am Reuben, this is my pig, Kenny Powers. We have thought of a way to get into the Emperors fortress to destroy him. Essentially I have always fantasised about having a helicopter with machine guns on all the blades, it would wipe out anything in its path on a 360 degree radius. if we could paint one of our helicopters with the dark emperors colours then we could get close enough to his fortress to turn the machine guns on (automatically) and wipe out all his closest advisors and then the dark emperor himself. If you think this is a stupid idea then just tell us and we will not go through with it.'
'No' said Mike 'I think you should go for it,' and shook my hand and patted Kenny Powers on the flank.
And that was the end of the dream.It got me to thinking about helicopters with machine guns attached to all the blades, and made me realise how amazing a weapon that would be in war. I made a mental note to myself to to keep the idea a secret until New Zealand is invaded and then to help out defeat the invaders with my amazing idea. I would no doubt be considered a war hero and when it was time for me to collect my medal from the Prime Minister I would not make a speech but would stand up on the podium and put my fist out in the air with a black glove on it in the same way that the black panthers did in the 70s.

Then everyone would know that I am all about revolution and other things like that. I would also have Kenny Powers standing to my left wearing dark glasses and a black beret. It would be a great photo opportunity no doubt.
I go through periods i guess of thinking about war and then not thinking about war.
One thing i think about war is that I dont like how the guy second from the right in the top row of this picture is a) pulling that face and b) holding his finger on the gun a little bit like the Penguin from Batman.

However there was something about the song Ohio by Crosby Stills Nash and Young that would always make me think of what it would be like to get asked to go to war by some idiot who I had never met. I sure would be angry if I was made to, because I know how terrible at war I would be. Mainly because I have bad aim but also my flat feet would really make all the walking get on my nerves, because you are forced to walk not only in war, but in all the training and camps you are expected to go to. I can only assume I wouldn't sleep especially well in ratty tatty bunks or in trenches while gunfire is going off and there is also the fact that I am not so keen on killing strangers who have never really done anything to me, and who do not appear anywhere on my 'Top 5 Kill List' (which is due to be updated in the next month or so). Therefore war sounds like something that would be exceptionally annoying and also pretty boring. I thank god on high that I never agreed to go to the army when my dad suggested that it would be a good way to pay for university. I probably would not have gotten away with all the pot smoking that university led me to, but I also may have not gotten away with coming out alive.