MORE ON KENNY POWERS THE PIG ETC

MORE ON KENNY POWERS THE PIG ETC

Kenny Powers the pig has really started taking after me in all manners of life. Not only does he like looking on the internet frequently when I have it open on the computer, but he has also begun spending around 20-25 minutes a day looking out the window and thinking about life, love and the universe. Which is what I tend to do. It makes my heart swell to know that he is learning life lessons from me and I feel that I am not only a good role model to him day by day, but also probably someone who he considers a 'father figure'. This is hugely important in M.H.O (my humble opinion) seeing Kenny Powers was an orphan piglet. I probably now consider him my best friend and often wonder how my future bride will feel when I tell her that at our wedding Kenny Powers the pig will stand beside me in the church as we take our vows. I think he would look excellent in a suit jacket, top hat and cumberbun and I know he would, unlike some animals who hate wearing human clothes, feel totally at ease up there on the podium looking dapper. Especially if i could also somehow train him to wear a monocle. But that is a challenge for another day.
And of course, as usual, I am getting ahead of myself, I don't even have a girlfriend anymore, let alone someone who will marry an unemployed musician who is trying to win a Guinness World Record with a pig. But there is always hope in this crazy world we live in. And you have to hold on to hope. Or you may as well be dead. But if you are really rich, you are not required to hold on to hope as much, or as often, as money will buy you a lot of the crud that you would probably had only hoped for when you were poor.

I have a sinking and strange feeling that I am either a) really started starting to lose my mind properly this time or b) am slowly but surely somehow magically syncing up telepathically with Kenny Powers the pig. The thought of this may seem slightly far fetched, but when you think about it in context we have now spent almost every waking moment together since I picked him up from the post office and I would essentially say that he and I know each other probably as well as pig and man could. And as far as I know, it is not unheard of to telepathically be connected to someone when you spend extended periods of time together, eg Tony and Barry Chesterman, the identical twins from my boarding school.