Baths etc.

I am most certainly not ashamed to admit to being involved in what I can only describe as a 'bath renaissance' that is currently occurring in East Berlin, spearheaded by the activity of our fourth floor apartment (informally known as The Gunners Pit, in homage to Guns N Roses lifestyle during their debaucherous and poverty filled period of living together before the release of their smash hit album 'Appetite For Destruction').

Here is a picture of Gunners. (If I was one of them I pags not being Steven Adler. I will take Duff, Izzy Stradlin or Slash preferably, or Axl at a push).



But there is probably no need for me to take Axl as here is a picture of my friend The Ginger dressed as Axl standing on his verandah looking pretty weird. I recommend clicking on the image to see it at a higher resolution and closer up.



The 'renaissance' was started by Sam in mid 2010 where his daily schedule revolved around his bath at sundown, I have taken the torch from him and begun running baths on a R.B (regular basis). So far our bathing schedules have not clashed and the system seems to work in perfect harmony, mainly due to the fact our days are usually pretty free while we go through this period of being 'between jobs'.
Being in the bath is not only good for cleaning your body, BUT as an added bonus it is a really great time to
a) plot master plans, and also minor plans
b) read Carl Sagan's 'The Cosmic Connection' and learn more about the universe
c) look out the window and reflect on crap that happened on that particular day



Occasionally I have been known to fall asleep and almost drown, but life has a funny way of making sure everything works out A O.K., and I am yet to die, or even choke on the bath water. I must admit it was reasonably unpleasant when I fell asleep in the bath and woke up to a phone call from Tim in London with the water almost totally freezing and full of coke as I had spilt a can of it in the bath which I had left in my hand as I fell asleep.
But it's not a big deal. And its all worth it of course, because it is the price you pay for cleanliness, which is next to godliness as my Poppa sometimes says. However this is pretty rich coming from him as he is usually totally grubby from hanging around in the garden all day planting Clivia and resembling a gnome as he is reasonably short and curious looking.



The whole scenario is all very 80s as far as I am concerned. Baths that is. Very 80s. I associate having a bath with being at my Aunty Jill's as a child and using Fred Flintstone soap and accidentally doing a pooh in the bath and then deciding to put a Smurf figurine on the pooh a little bit like he was riding a boat. Aunty Jill was not really impressed, but either way it showed pretty good initiative for a 12 year old kid.



As I associate having a bath with the 80s, it seems only fitting that my new found love for having a bath almost every day ties in pretty well with my new found love for the 1981 Hall And Oates hit 'I Can't Go For That (No Can Do)'.
It is also nice to know that this single took out the number 1 spot on the R and B singles chart in early 1982 and Hall upon learning this wrote in his diary, "I'm the head soul brother in the U.S. Where to now?". That really is a well thought out rhetorical question in my humble opinion.

I got to thinking today that things have changed a lot around Berlin in the last month. While a lot of it is to do with the seasons and the onset of Autumn, there are some things occurring which you just can't blame on the weather.

1. I have changed my name to 'Maniac' and it seems to be slowly catching on amongst the community I am associated with, although my friend Heather has an annoying habit of referring to me as 'The Maniac', which is pretty much the most ridiculous nickname I have ever heard of.
2. Sam and I have set up mirrors in our respective rooms at the perfect angle so when our doors are open we are able to talk to each other while making eye contact without having to leave our respective beds. If either of our doors are closed, we usually just Skype one another if any issues need discussing.
3. We have been spending a lot of time with a life size stuffed White Tiger called 'Rick'.



4. The gang 'Drugs' I was in has disbanded, and also the other gang I am involved with (The Bear And Cougar Gang) is taking a small hiatus while one of the members is in Thailand smoking opium and looking for the world's hottest chilli.
5. We have started eating soup more often. The highlight has been the one Sam made on his debut soup making effort called 'Miami Eclipse'.
6. I have purchased a briefcase so I have somewhere to put all my documents. it has been very, very handy so far. I now can feel content knowing that most of my important papers and documents are all in the same place. I may however have to pop it open with a swiss army knife as I have just remembered that I didn't write the combination down on the locks and I closed it around 2 weeks ago.

There are obviously a few other things, but i feel now is probably not the right time to bring them up as I C.B.B (can't be bothered).

I will however mention that I found a website called Jeff Goldblum is watching You Poop, which is the worst news I have ever heard. I can not think of a worse scenario that could possibly occur on planet earth. I already feel uncomfortable knowing I am in the same hemisphere as Goldblum, the thought of him being able to see me do a pooh is terrifying beyond belief.
Great, I also just found out his middle name is Lynn.

Anyway, I am not going to waste anymore time worrying Goldblum today, as I should be celebrating due to Halloween.
Last night was the night before Halloween and every idiot and his dog got dressed up and went out amongst the city streets terrorising and drinking.
I was on a reasonably tight budget so put a plastic bag over the top half of my body and a coat hanger on my neck and went out as Drycleaning. It was essentially ingenious and I plan to re-enact the costume every year until I die of natural causes or am killed by a bolt of lightning (as predicted in my dream, which was probably a prophecy).



Fortunately I was escorted by Sam dressed as Audrey Hepburn, so it all worked out in the wash and we made a handsome couple.



Anyway, as it is 1:40am and I need to make sure I get my ten hours rest, it is probably a good time to stop my ranting. Also, that fat good-for-nothing pig of mine Kenny Powers is annoying me for his snack and if I don't get it out of the fridge and put it on his 'American Idol' themed dinner plate, he will probably puke on one of my prized possessions just to spite me and I C.B.B cleaning up any of his puke before sun up.



As it is essentially the texture of a buttload of Ectoplasm from the movie Ghostbusters, which in my humble opinion is totally gross.